What is it?

I walked as usual,

Stepping on the leaves on the road,

Kicking the pebbles on the way,

With thoughts disturbing and

Talking to themselves,

With me as silent listener

Who looks somewhere, goes somewhere.

 

All of a sudden, what is it?

The one I am breathing..

What is it? the one I am breathing..

I breathe something I once did long back.

Strong and green, fresh and familiar,

From the seeds, deeply sown.

I felt it, I knew it..

 

Just takes me away..

To the hills and ocean..

Dances through the flowers..

Jumps down the showers...

Makes me forget my monotony..

Stops the turmoil of thoughts..

Brings their whole attention

And connects back to me.

 

I feel it. I know it. its familiar

Yes,it is the smell of love,

On which I once lived,

It is budding out, once again,

From the same root,

Where it once lived and made me live.

No more a silent listener, I am,

To the turmoil of thoughts.

I dance, I sing, I smile,

I laugh, I sleep, I share

This time, the roots are stronger,

The smell is sweeter,

Bringing me back to life from

Something which seemed like life!

 

- Sheela.

Reminded !!!

A haunting song, A favourite movie scene,
A happy smile,
A bright morning,
A pleasant evening,

A cloudy weather,

A missed call,

A message beep,

A new mail,

A breeze,

A rain,

A heavy tear,

A moonlight night,

A friend,

And every silence..

Why is everything

including nothing is

reminding me of you?

Making my life to be

as simple as a

complication !!!

Oru Kanavin Aarambam

college - 3rd year - 6 th sem holidays - Like everyone else, My only dream was to get placed in an MNC.
get good money.
wear cool jeans,
hang with earphones, nod to my favourite track as i work, as i swift through my scooty,
as i do other similar stuffs,
see movies without any fear of monthly budget, also save some amount,
get some gifts for family and friends
and lead a happy life.

four attempts failed. got placed in the 5th company IBM. one year passed in just enjoying that celebration and enjoying the golden final year moments.
 
joined IBM Bangalore. new place. new culture. independent. During the initial days, I wasnt bothered much about my work or to learn new technology. I didnt even feel anything when my first code worked. because I really did not know how it worked. what is the functionality and all that. I was given a design, I know the syntax, and I got some results which I didn't know whether it is right or wrong, but got approved.
 
I had that... that which I thought is enjoyment.
Yes, roamed in the forum and garuda malls, I started wearing all new branded jeans, mp3 players, listen to music almost all day all long, see movies in PVR, enjoy the luxurious experience as i watch my favourite movie.. reviewing the movie with friends in the after hour. get gifts for family and friends on special occasions..
 
everything was there, but something was missing. yes, the last part of my college dream. to lead a happy life..
day by day, some or the other thing kept reminding me that it is missing. Reminders may be some thought provoking forwards..roadside beggars.. the daily status meeting, the routine work, the evening juice, a philosophical chat with good friend, smiling faces of children... the traffic, the pollution, the noise
and my silence amidst the noise...

I slowly started realising I am somewhere else.
Somewhere in the middle of nowhere. A little emptiness started creeping inside.. but I wasnt ready to accept that I was not happy with my job. Because once, this is what I dreamt of. and now I am not enjoying it. I tried to force myself to enjoy this kind of life. I worked in bangalore, chennai, hyderabad. learnt so many things.. so many things that I never imagined to come across in my life, professionally, socially and personally. Now, I look back and shake my head once and see that it is going to be four years in IT in the same company.

I had so many ideas.. so many things which I wanted to do.. I knew very well that I am good at doing them..
wanted to give back.. I wanted to write..I wrote.. but couldnt reach where I want to be. I wanted to be a social worker.. do something to society as part time.. so many other dreams..
yet I did not end up in doing them..
 
yosithu paarthaal oru kaaranam solla mudiyavillai. yaenendraal irunthatho aayiram kaaranangalin pattiyal. Ivai anaithirkkum moola kaaranam naan.. naan.. naan mattumae.. oru velai enakkoru velai illaamal irundhirundhaal, indru naan nenaithathai seithu mudikka idai vidaathu muyarchithiruppaeno ennavo theirya villai..enadhu velai oru balaveenam aanadhu. namakkoru velai irukkindrathu endra oru ennam..yaaraavathu pick pocket adithaalum, bank numberukku phone seithu cardai block seiyyalaam endra oru asattu thaiyiriam pondru velai thaan irukkiradhae endru oru alatchiyam. vegangal thadai pattana.. ennangal mudakka pattana. kadhavugal naan moodaamale moodi vittana..
 
sila naatkalaaga meendum edho oru salanam. thurupiditha kadhavugal marubadiyum thirakkum 'kireech' endra oru satham.. neenda naal vidumuraikku pinbu, ennangalin kanavu mutham. pattiyal aarambam. kanavugalin pattiyal...

to be part of an NGO, or join with friends n start an NGO, which works for society in various aspects.. from orphanage, to child education,to oldage home, blood donation, public grievances, help those fighting for justice, fight pollution, national integrity, women's rights, something like 24x7 helpline??? and so on..

to start a business. provide employment to others.. to taste the real success by working for myself and the society...

to start writing again seriously and see how far i can go.. how many miles can I cover....

to rediscover my capability... to show me to myself. to start the battle between what I am and what I can.

Marubadiyum en manadhirkkul oru pakkam ennai varpuruthum oru ennam.. "unnal idhu mudiyumaa.. ippo irukkura velaikku enna korachal.. ivlo naal nallaa thaana irundha.. idhukku thaana nee aasa patta..ippo enna pudhu prachanai?"

idharkellaam bathil adi kodukindrathu mattroru ennam...

"enakku intha s/w la interest poiduchu.. enna thaan namma potta code successful naalum.. adhu yaarukko panrom nu oru ennam subtitle maadiri vandhu vandhu pogudhu... mugam theriyaadha oru end userukkaaga... urangaamal unnaamal kodutha code fixes,deliverables... enakku accident aanaa replacement yaarunnu mattum yosikkura oru work culture.

oru civil engineer kooda road la pogum bodhu.. ithu naan kattuna building.. naan kattuna fly over nu sollalaam..aanaa namma......ithu naan deploy panna code nu engayum solla mudiyaathu..

its time to give back. oru naalu paerukku employment nammalaala kudukka mudiyum nu therinjapparam..
namma namakkaaga mattum vela paarthu sambaarikaradhu sari illa... adhu suyanalam.. aids, swine flu idhai ellaam vida koduraamaana vyaadhi suyanalam.. maathavangalukku paravaamaleye unakkulle irundhu ulagaiye azhikka koodiya oru vyaadhi..

naamalum vaazhanum.. vaazhavum vaikkanum.. live and let live..
 
ofcourse, intha velaikku thaan aasa patten.. inniku enakku ivlo exposure, confidence, ellaathukkum kaaranam ippo naan irukkara ennoda first job thaan. athukku naan ennikkum nandri therivippaen. .aanaa athulaiyae irukkanum nu avasiyam illa. naalaiku ndtv cnn-ibn la interview pannaa ennoda confidence ku adithalam en IBM job nu marakaama solluven :-D "
 
ippadi ellaam innoru ennam sonna pinbu, muthalil pesiya ennam kaanamal ponavar patriya arivippil idam petradhu.
 
hmmm.. ya..entha oru vishayamum start panrathu thaan kashtam.. oru thadava oru kai paathutta evanum onnum panna mudiyaathu..intha blogpost ezhuthum pothu irukkum thelivu naan edukkum pudhu muyarchigalilum irukka vendum endru nambugiraen..oriru aandugal kazhithu marubadiyum idhai padikkum podhu naan indha kanavugalil edhaenum ondraiyaavadhu iyakki, vetriyai muthamittu iruppen endru nambugiraen.. appadi illaamal oru manaiviyaagavo illai oru kuzhandhaikku thaayaagavo mattum aanaalum, intha blogpost.. idhai padikkum yaarukkaavadhu oru undhudhalaaga irukkum endru nambugiraen.
 
life is learning.. both on your own and from others...

As SRK says in OSO.. "itni shiddat say mein nay tumhein panay ki koshih ki hai, ki har zarray nay mujhe tum say milanay ki sazaish ki hai, kehtay hein agar kisi cheez ko dil se chahoo tu puri kayanat ussay tum say milanay ki koshih mein lag jati hai, aaj aap sab nay mujhe meri chahat se milaya. Thank You! Thank You very much! Mein aap sab ka shukar guzaar hoon ki aap nay meray kawaboon ko yaqeen mein badal diya, itna ki I feel like the king of the world, aur aaj iss baat ka bhi yaqeen hoo gaya ki hamari filmoon ki tarah hamari zindagi mein bhi, end mein sab theek hoo jata hai, happies endings, aur agar theek na hoo toh woh the end nahi hai doston, Picture abhi baki hai"


ennai marubadiyum naan theda mudivu seithirukkiren. oru pudhu mudivirkaaga idho... oru kanavin aarambam..

Oru Nodi! / Moment

எதிர்பாராமல் நீ என்னைப் பார்க்கும் போது

நான் உன்னைப் பார்க்கும் அந்த ஒரு நொடி .....

அந்த ஒரு நொடி .... ஏன் ஒரு நொடியிலேயே முடிகின்றது?

 For people who don't know to read tamil, here is the translation:
 
The moment, I see you,
when you accidentally see me ...
why is that moment always ending in a moment?

some interesting haikus I came across

*பார்க்கக் கூடாததைப் பார்த்து விட்டேன்....
உன் கண்கள்!!!!!

*காத்திருப்பது நிரந்தரம் அல்ல...
காத்திருந்து நாம்
பெறுவதும் கூட...!

*எரிமலை அடிவாரத்தில்
இரவு நேர நிலா வெளிச்சம்...
யார் ரசிப்பது?

*காதலுக்காக யாரும் காத்திருக்க தேவை இல்லை
காத்திருப்பதே காதலாகி விட்டால்....

I had a life

I knew the truth
without knowing it's the truth.
You were mine and only mine.
But you told it plain and made me cry.. .ye.

I cry deeply inside yet i laugh aloud.
it's gone - the life of my life.
now there's,
no use for this soul.

I'm forgetting that I have
to remember
to forget you..
yet remembering that I have
to remember
to forget you...

I do without knowing that i do
I see without knowing that i see
I...
live without knowing that i live

Life without you is not life. It's just survival.

I pass my time walking down the memory lane.
I remember the best movie time, best walk,
best ride, best mail, best chat, best talk,
best evening, best sight, best fight,
best song, best dream, best sleep,
best joke, best laugh, best silence,
I had in my life...

I remember all the best times I had in my life..
And they are best because they had you..

For once I had a life!!!
- Sheela

Manasellaam Unplugged - Kulir 100 degrees

I loved this song at first shot. and below is the lyrics of that song and Simbu has added a good feel to the song.

Lyrics:
Hey yo. This song is dedicated to everyone, who miss their friend. This is how it feels.

Manasellam unnidam koduthaen ennuyir thozha.
Pazhasellam ninaivukke varudhe neril vaada.
Vaanendru unnaiyum ninaithaen vaanavillai marainthaaye.
Thirukuralai vanthu en vaazhvil iru variyil mudinthaaye.
Kan moodinaal irulethu neeye therigirai.
Naan pesinaal mozhiyaga thaane varugirai...

It's been a while since we last met. Can't forget what happened until my last breath. I regret my actions coz what we had was everlasting, aint no joke man. My heart comes crashing.
Etharkaaga piranthai, enai eno pirinthai, unnale ninaivugalaale modhi vilugindrathe. Oliyai nee irunthai, kanavilum sirithai, nanba un izhapaal nada pinam aagiraen.

So coming back.

Hmmm... Karai mothum alaigalai pola ninaivugal modhidudhe.
Oodhuginra cigarette thundugal kathaigal solliduthe.
Thanneeril kumuzhiyai pola vanthavan ponaane.
Vilaiyadum maithaanangal mayanam aagiyadhe.
Ingu enakkendru ethum illaye.
En palliye mutru pulliye.
Ini muzhuvadhum naan azhuvadhum unai ninaithe thozha.
Kan moodinaal...

I'm walking down memory lane, it's all coming back. Don't ever forget me man. That's all I ask. You've got control on my thoughts and emotions, when the world stops still you put it back in the motion.
Nanbanaaga neeyum vandhai, sollaamaale veedu sendrai. Indru nee ponaalum endrum un ninaivaal azhugiraen en nanbane, unnai izhakiraen en nanbane. Karaigiraen un ninaivile unnai izhakiraen en nanbane.

The song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0UuKYBFWbM

Slumdog What!!

I just watched slumdog millionaire. I n office. Good movie. I also think it is written or it is just it will not happen to everyone. I have always felt till now that It s not written like that for me and to this time, I have been proved that no luck works for me. The screenplay.. the story had a pretty good pace. Based on the novel Q&A.. And ARR has bagged the golden globe award for Best original score for this movie. But everyone knows that ARR has given a lot more than this yet they are unknown to the otherside of the world. Good ! how good it will be if you knowwhat you will become. or how good it will be if you know what you want to become. If you get to know either of this, you will get to know the other too :) Now, I am what? A Slumdog What?

This time.... To God

Hey you.. the so called God!! Listen .. this post is for you. If at all you know how to surf the net, do go through this post... It is on red alert to get your attention. I have so many questions for you. I donno if you are there or not. This s just a proactive measure from my side to make u realise the mistakes you have done. Hmmm first tell me on what basis have you designed the concept of life and death? What are the framerules used? Did you ever review your design? In any case, I want you to enjoy a life time imprisonment.. wondering why? you still dint realise what a great blunder you have done.. Do you ever spend time to see the current affairs on earth? Do you see how people, who dont deserve even a single bread, enjoying the life to the fullest? Do you ever see the accidental death of a father in a middle class family? Do you ever see how life changes for the family members after that? Do you ever see the fatal road accident of a close friend who always takes caution while driving? Do you ever see the pain people go thru after such a death? Do you ever see the murder of innocent girls and guys due to imbalance in relationships? Do you ever see the death of 3 yr old gal because she was raped? Did you see the recent terror scenes sweeping the country? enna thaan yaa panra nee? Unmailiye nee irunthaa, this year I am rating you as a very poor performer. No hike and No Bonus.